Gut instincts: How it could destroy your relationship

Content

What exactly is a gut feeling

Are gut feelings always right

Should you trust your instincts in a relationship

How your gut feeling could destroy your relationship

Gut feelings and anxiety

Have you ever trusted a gut feeling so deeply that it made you question your entire relationship? While instincts can serve as powerful warning signs, they can also mislead us, especially when shaped by fear, trauma, or insecurity. In relationships, gut feelings can be a double-edged sword, they might protect you from harm, or they might slowly erode trust and connection without any real reason.

In this article, we’ll explore how gut instincts form, why they’re not always reliable, and how blindly following them can quietly sabotage even the strongest relationships.

What exactly is a gut feeling?

A gut instinct is your immediate sense that something may not be safe, and it often requires no deep thinking. It’s that internal knowing that arises from within you, something only you can truly understand. These instincts are often shaped by your past experiences and knowledge, which is why it’s crucial not to ignore them; your body can pick up on negative vibes.

At some point in your life, you’ve probably experienced a gut feeling about a situation or a person. You may have found yourself somewhere and instantly sensed that something wasn’t right.

When your gut is trying to communicate with you, you might notice specific sensations in your stomach, like tightness or fluttering. This could accompany a feeling of unease or the sense that something is off. You may also experience a sudden clarity or insight about a situation or choice.

According to Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett, a leading neuroscientist and author of How Emotions Are Made, your brain isn’t the only organ that shapes your mood and behaviour, your entire body, including your gut, plays a critical role in how you feel and react.

Related: Separation anxiety from your partner: Here is how to deal with it

Are gut feelings always right?

Have you ever had a gut feeling about a person or situation that just wouldn’t go away? Those instincts can be powerful, often acting like an internal alarm system designed to protect us from potential harm. But here's the catch: while gut feelings can offer valuable insights, they aren’t always fool proof.

Our gut feelings can be influenced by preconceptions or biases. If you walk into a room with a mindset that everyone there will be untrustworthy, your gut may steer you toward suspicion even if the reality is different. Acknowledging this is crucial. True wisdom lies in being fully aware of your surroundings and understanding how your past experiences shape your present feelings.

Sometimes, past events or anxieties can cloud our judgment, leading us to misinterpret our instincts. For instance, if you’ve faced betrayal before, a new friendship might trigger feelings of doubt, even if there’s no real threat. This is where reflection comes in. Before acting on a gut feeling, take a moment to ask yourself: "Is this based on the current situation, or is it influenced by my past?"

While gut feelings can offer important insights, it’s essential to evaluate them in context. Trust your instincts, but also take a step back and consider the bigger picture.

So the answer to the question is "No", gut feelings are not always right. While they can serve as valuable instincts to alert us to potential danger or discomfort, they can also be influenced by our past experiences, biases, and preconceptions.

Related: Is love enough to make a relationship survive?

Should you trust your instincts in relationships?

In relationships that are complex, there are many factors that can influence our feelings and perceptions. While gut feelings can be useful in relationships, it's necessary to rely on a combination of intuition, communication, and critical reasoning to make informed decisions and maintain healthy and perfect relationships.

When you feel that something is wrong in your relationship, you should ask yourself why you are feeling this way.

You should not end a wonderful relationship just because your gut was trying to tell you something. It will make you aware that something is wrong, but take time and analyze the situation or talk to your partner about what you feel if they lie to you, you will eventually know.

First, listen to your gut, analyze the situation, and ask yourself why you are feeling that way, don't rush and make a decision but talk to your partner and make a decision afterward. But know that a steady or strong gut can be a more confident guide than a confused heart.

Related: How to express your feelings in a relationship

How gut feelings could destroy your relationship

By now, it should be clear how gut instincts can potentially destroy our relationships, but we will run through it.

While the gut feeling is a good thing, an anxious feeling can be misunderstood as a gut feeling. Gut feelings and anxiety have the same physical sensation so it can be easily misunderstood or difficult to tell the two apart. This usually causes confusion for people in their relationships, they mistake their feeling of anxiety for a gut feeling and end up breaking up with their partners thinking they had dodged a bullet when the problem was actually from them.

Instead of accepting the fact that we may be suffering from anxiety, we sometimes try to cover it up by letting ourselves believe that it is our gut trying to tell us something. How do you know if it is your gut speaking to you or if it is the crazy thought in your head trying to get you to do something you don’t want to do?

There is a gut feeling and there is just fear, most of the time when you don’t know what to do or where to go you get anxious. Whenever there is confusion and fear it should not be misunderstood as a gut feeling. If you have racing thoughts then you are experiencing fear, not a good instinct.

Related: How can you tell if a relationship is worth saving

Gut feelings and anxiety: Difference

The big difference is how they make you feel. When your gut tries to tell you something you will be filled with confidence or you will feel expansive but when it is anxiety you will retract a bit, you tend to be confused.

Anxiety is stress and fear-based, you feel panic, scared, and unprepared. Your brain is constantly being bundled with more thoughts about the situation, you end up overcomplicating the situation. Your mind then creates unnecessary and unfounded details that are not based on the truth. You feel worse every single day.

Your instinct, on the other hand, is calm and steady. There is always that sense of trust. There is always a calm sense of knowing what might actually happen and it is easy to respond. It doesn’t have an opinion on everything it only steps in when it needs to. Anxiety never comes from real immediate threats but mostly based on threats that are imagined.

The confusing part about anxiety and your instincts is the fact that they are both fuelled by protection and past experience but the difference is that our instincts come from a deep place within us, it is calm and mindful.

If we can calm our anxiety down we will be able to evaluate the reality of the situation, why we actually feel this way, how our values are connected to the situation, and what our moral code might be telling us and it will be easy to have a better view or understanding of what is actually going on. Through this process, you'll become better at making decisions based on what your instincts are telling you.

Image Source: Freepik | Create great designs, faster