Highlights
Should you wait if they are not ready for a relationship?
How long is too long to wait
What to do while you wait
Pros and Cons of waiting
Getting into a relationship is a significant step. You must be emotionally and mentally prepared for the hardships that will arise. The importance of timing cannot be overstated.
It is best to wait if you want to take some time to grow as a person and discover more about yourself. Every person has their own method for deciding when to commit.
In other circumstances, having to wait because the person you love or want to be in a relationship with isn't ready can be a terrifying experience. You put your romantic life on hold in the hopes of forming a romantic relationship with the person you're waiting for.
You take a chance on the individual. Waiting for someone who isn't ready for a relationship can be very frustrating and emotionally straining.
Because you aren't romantically involved with the individual, it can be emotionally draining, and it might lead to insecurities. It may also be a positive thing because finding someone special can be difficult in these current times, so if you meet someone special you are willing to put your romantic life on hold for, you can decide to wait and get to know each other as you wait for the day they will be ready for a relationship.
Deciding to wait for someone who is not ready for a relationship depends on the circumstances. You don't put your life on hold for someone who hasn't shown interest at all, but you wait for someone who for some genuine reason, isn't ready to commit but maybe someday will be ready to commit in a relationship when they are ready.
Let's dive more into this topic
Should you wait if they are not ready for a relationship?
Whether or not to wait if someone is not ready for a relationship depends on the specific circumstances and your own feelings. It's critical to examine your own specific needs and emotional well-being, and whether waiting aligns with your long-term goals.
If you are already in this circumstance and believe that the person you are waiting for is worth the wait, and you do not picture yourself in a relationship with anybody else at the moment, you can attempt the wait.
If and only if you are certain that the person you are waiting for likes you as much as you like them but, for whatever reason, does not want to be in a relationship yet. It could be due to a hectic schedule, lifestyle changes, past pain, school, personal growth, or other factors.
But you don't put your life on hold for someone who doesn't care about you or isn't interested in you as much as you are in them. Don’t wait for anyone unsure about you.
If someone suggests they might grow to love you and would want you to wait, don't even consider it. Keep in mind that with such a person, when "better" comes along, they will grow to leave you. Before you make that decision, make sure that the person you're waiting for likes and cares about you.
You will read many articles that will ask you without hesitation to move on in such a situation but in my experience sometimes waiting is the right thing to do.
They may like you but because of the aforementioned reasons may not be ready for a serious commitment and just want to establish a deeper connection with you first.
It all depends on where you both come from in the past and where you want to be in the future. It is normal for some people to need more time. Just note that you don't have to wait if you don't want to. But if you are willing to wait and the person you wait for is worth it then you can wait.
Related Topic: Psychological effects of being single for too long
How long is too long to wait
Consider your emotional well-being and whether waiting is causing you distress or hindering your personal growth. It's crucial to set a limit based on your own needs and priorities.
Everyone's tolerance for waiting is different, so trust your instincts and be realistic about what you're willing to invest emotionally. If the other person is consistently shutting you down and hasn't even shown the slightest sign of being open for a relationship with you in the future, it might be worth considering whether it's in your best interest to move on and seek a relationship that aligns with your desires and timeline.
Remember, your own happiness and fulfillment matter too.
There are people who had to wait for years for someone before they ended up in a relationship with them. It can take years honestly or months depending on the reason you are being made to wait.
Recommended book: The Sacred Search; Gary Thomas helps single people of all ages make wise marital choices by rethinking what basis those choices should be made on
What to do while you wait
While you wait you can take the opportunity to let the person know more about you and on a deeper level. You can do this by hanging out more often. Remember you like this person so even though you are both just friends at the moment you will still want to be in a relationship with the person when the right time comes.
It is very important to keep frequent contact and let them know that you care but be smart about it and avoid being clingy, you don't want to come off as being too desperate. Always remember to give a little space but at the same time not be a stranger to the person.
You can do this by
Hanging out with the person maybe during the weekends. You could watch a movie, play some games together, just talk, etc.
You could call once or twice a week to check on them
By doing this you are letting the person know that you are there for them.
You want the person to remember that you care and still like them even though you are friends.
You could even ask the person out on a date once or twice to show them the romantic part of you to avoid being friend-zoned in the end.
Going on dates can help build a connection and establish a foundation for a potential future relationship. Dating can help you assess if you have long-term compatibility and whether a deeper relationship might work in the future.
I was in a similar predicament with the girl I liked. I made sure she didn't lose interest in me while we were waiting, and I avoided being friend-zoned in the end. I would take her out on romantic dates every now and then, and I made it a point to see her at least once a week to watch movies, play games, and converse.
Instead of attempting to coerce them into a relationship, simply be there for them and in the end if you play your cards right you will end up together. It is a very difficult situation to be in, to be honest
Pros and cons of waiting for someone who is not ready for a relationship yet
It might be complicated and difficult to wait for someone who isn't prepared for a relationship. It is crucial to weigh many aspects and determine what is best for your personal well-being.
While it is normal to feel strongly about someone and want to develop a romantic relationship with them, waiting impatiently for someone who is not ready for a relationship can result in emotional discomfort, dissatisfaction, and a disregard for your own needs and wants.
Here are some pros and cons of having to wait for someone who is not ready for a relationship
Pros
It creates a healthy dynamic for a lasting relationship
This is because waiting helps you create a deeper connection with the person you are waiting for. It is an opportunity to create a stronger bond between the two. You take the time to know and understand them and know their needs in a relationship.
To be able to build a healthy and strong lasting relationship you will need to lay down the groundwork by weighing in your options. Instead of rushing into a commitment why not take it slow and create a stronger bond first?
It is an opportunity to discover yourself
Discovering yourself takes a bit of time and searching but you need to have a good idea about yourself before you decide to share it with someone else. It is easy to discover who you are when you are not being influenced by another person. You need to understand yourself better and know your needs before getting into a relationship with someone.
Working on yourself before getting into a relationship is a good idea. We already talked about how difficult relationships are and how it needs time and effort. Working on yourself will make things easy for you while you wait. When you finally do get into the relationship you will be able to express your needs to him/her much better.
It lets the person know how much you care
When you are willing to wait for someone, you show the person that you care about them and that you are willing to do anything for them. In the process of waiting you show the person that you can commit to the person.
Maybe they have just come out of a serious relationship and want to see if you won't hurt them like in their previous relationship. They may sometimes want you to wait because they want to see how you handle certain situations and how much you care. In waiting you show the person that you care and that they are worth being in a relationship with.
Cons
It is emotionally draining
Having to wait for someone who is not ready for a relationship can negatively impact your mental health. It can be emotionally draining because it makes you feel insecure, and stressed out, you overthink most of the time, and it makes you anxious. You tend to worry a lot, if the person you are waiting for is not showing interest in you, it affects your mental well-being.
The choice of whether to wait or move on ultimately comes down to your own situation, values, and emotional health. It is critical, to be honest with yourself and make decisions that put your happiness and development first. Always way in your options; Consider whether this person is worth waiting for or if you are wasting your time
You may end up waiting forever
It is very important to discuss your intentions with the person you are waiting otherwise you may end up waiting for a very long time. Make your intentions clear to the person but do not push it. Avoid miscommunications and always make your intentions clear.
To avoid having to wait indefinitely and being friend-zoned at the end you always have to make sure that you know that even though you like being friends at the moment you are not looking to be in that position forever. Communicate your intentions better.
You tend to develop trust issues
It becomes difficult to trust the person you are waiting for if you do not handle yourself well because it may feel like you are being used. You are likely to be afraid of the fact that the person you are waiting for will break your heart. This will lead to feelings of insecurity and difficulty putting your trust in them.
You question the person's loyalty to you, especially if you have been used by someone you trusted in the past. As I mentioned before it all comes down to communicating. Communicating with the person will get rid of all the negative thoughts. Just as communication is important in relationships it is just as important in this situation.
It makes you unavailable to other suitors
Having to focus on the person you wait for prevents you from pursuing other suitors who may be available for a relationship. If the person you are waiting for has no plans to be in a relationship with you, they could be preventing you from finding someone who would give you what you want.
Final Remarks
Your romantic life will be placed on hold if you wait for someone who isn't ready, and you may miss out on other chances for development, connection, and fulfilment. It is crucial to think about if waiting is a long-term option that is good for you.
It might be advantageous to concentrate on your own personal growth, partake in self-care practices, and keep your choices open in order to meet new people who might be more compatible with your level of relationship preparation.
Consider all these points but know that the most important thing to consider is yourself. Just remember that you only wait if the person is willing to be in a relationship with you when the time comes otherwise, you will end up wasting your time.
Always ask yourself; Is he/she worth the wait? and always communicate your intentions with the person. Waiting is a sign of love and patience, the right person will always appreciate your wait. Waiting is not easy it is very challenging but for the right person, it can be worth it.